Thoughts on Societal Pressure

via style.com

Yesterday another talented member of the fashion industry ended their life.  L'Wren Scott seemingly had it all; An iconic longterm partner, a successful clothing line, talent, and legs for days.  Obviously something was amiss, and a continued existence must have seemed to hard to bare.

I often think about the pressure of my little life.  Sometimes it seems to be so much.  Expectations exist for work, appearance, and finances.  It is hard to escape them.  Then I think about what it must be like to be in the spotlight, which creates an even greater strain for perfection.  It had become such a problem.  So many talented people, both famous and not, are turning to drug addictions or suicide to escape.  How many people do we have to lose until things change?  The hamster wheel of life is killing people, and society as a whole turns a blind eye.  It weighs on my mind.

In an attempt to free myself I try to not let the daily grind bog me down.  Work is hard, living in New York is a challenge, and the drive to get ahead can be overwhelming, but there is solace in each moment.  If you make time to treat yourself well and breathe, the things that anger,upset, and stress pass.  You are again left with the moment and your breath.

Breakfast Smoothies

I've spoken about my love for juicing and smoothies before, but over the past couple of years I have really become almost addicted to drinking at least one a day.  Typically this serves as my breakfast, but I have had them for dinner as well.  

With the cold winter weather in New York it is really hard to find any fresh, good quality vegetables and fruits, so I have switched my routine up a bit.  Instead of full whole vegetables I have been supplementing my smoothies with nutritional powders that have served me quite well.  After having about 5 colds at the start of the winter, I have managed to stay healthy for the past month or so.  I contribute the turn around to the antioxidant smoothie listed below, which also serves as a meal.  Try them out for a healthy boost!

Spirulina Smoothie

adapted from Hungry for Change

1 cucumber

1/4 pineapple

Juice of 1 lime

1 handful of spinach

3 kale leaves

1 avocado

4 tsp spirulina powder

1/2 cup of water

6-8 ice cubes

Blend and drink!  This makes two large twenty ounce smoothies.

Combat Cold Smoothie

Handful of raspberries

Handful of blueberries

2 Tbsp pomegranate avrils (if in season)

1 scoop Garden of Life Perfect Food Powder (cacao flavored)

1/2 scoop Garden of Life Raw Meal (vanilla flavored)

1 tsp nut butter of your choice (I use almond)

1 tsp coconut butter (optional)

a sprinkle of ground flax seed

a sprinkle of chia seeds

a sprinkle of bee pollen

1/2-1 cup of coconut milk (depending on the consistency you like)

4-6 ice cubes

Blend and drink right away, this one doesn't save very well.  Makes 1 smoothie.  You can get the Garden of Life powders as well as some of the other obscure ingredients at Vitacost.

Almost a Full Year

It's strange to think that the last time I glanced at this space on the internet was almost a full year ago.  At times I have found an interesting image or quote and had the intention of posting it, but then something interrupts and the idea is lost.  However, in trolling through the past three years of sporadic blog posts as well as my image library, I realized that this is the perfect place to record things in my life.  Stuff I love, events (big and small,) and random thoughts that may pass by.

In the last year life has changed quite a bit.  A new apartment, a new job for my boyfriend, a new car.  Looking back I wish I had kept a better record of 2013 here.  I'm hoping that starting now, I am able to do better in 2014, so I can look back at this time next year and remember all of the fab times that are to come.

29 Years

It's kind of weird to me that I am going to be 29  in a couple of weeks.  People ask me how I feel, if I have accomplished the things I wanted before I turn 30, am I depressed that my youth is seemingly coming to end.  My response is that I am actually in awe.  I can't believe that I have existed on this earth for 29 years, I have always thought of myself as a child of sorts. A worried child wondering what is in store for me in the coming day, week, or month.  Never have I ever thought of time in years...and here I am with 29 of them under my belt.

I have been thinking about my life ( a relatively short lived one in some people's opinions) and what comes to mind are the most mundane moments.  Those moments that have been stored away for some reason in my brain, only to re-surface when prompted, and become important again.  The moments when I felt "on top of the world," or at the very bottom. As if nothing could get better, or worse.  All at once the emotions from that very time come rolling into my brain, and I have to stop them from taking over.

As an ode to the years I have been in existence I thought I would list a few, to remind myself that life is good, and there are more of these moments to come...

1) I just turned 8.  It is my birthday party, and I have dressed in my very favorite blue sweatshirt.  It has trucks, or animals on it.  I can't remember exactly.  I am blowing out the candles on my birthday cake, and I remember feeling that it couldn't possibly get any better than this.  My family is hovering around me, my favorite homemade cake, and presents.  It is a child's dream, and I am living it.

2) I am 10, it is summer and we are waiting out the last remaining days of our short time living in Oregon.  I am running around in my uncle's rural backyard in my underwear.  I have just started to grow breasts, and I know that this in the last time I will be able to run innocently almost naked and free.

3) I am 15 and laying in bed watching Hocus Pocus with my best friend in her room.  After intervals of feeling highly insecure after my move from Catholic middle school to public high school, I finally feel accepted into my new life.  We are inseperable and I am safe.

4) I am 17 and sitting in chemistry class.  I am thin, I have my favorite Calvin Klein jeans on and a brand new shirt from Next.  My Doc Martin sandals weigh heavy on my feet, and for the first time in my high school career I feel like myself.  My friend Sara sits behind me, and we make plan for the weekend.  I am satisfied and happy.

5) I am 19 and laying on a lounge in Barbados holding hands with my sister.  In front of me is the most spectacular view of the world I have ever seen.  The air is warm, and the waves soothe me as they crash.  I can't believe I am here, that my parents accomplished this much, that we (our family) have accomplished this much.  It is breathtaking, and I am stunned.

6) I am 21 and riding the train with my love to New York.  I get a phone call that my best friend is dead.  It is from her phone number and it is surreal.  I am in shock.  I go on with my plans.  I wear sunglasses for the entire journey to, during, and from the day of her funeral.  My heart is shattered, and one piece I know will never be re-attached.  I am still alive, and I am devastated.

7)  I am turning 22, and my love plans a birthday weekend for me.  He takes me shopping, to a special event at the Guggenheim, and throws a party for me at a club.  I am queen for the weekend, and then hungover for one of the first times ever.

8) I am 23 and at a summer music festival overlooking NYC.  It is dusk and Radiohead has just come on.  I am in a trance, living in the moment, and being taken away by their amazing sound.  I am transfixed.

9) I am 24, I have graduated from college, and I am on the subway with the new love of my life.  A gift from my Mom for graduation.  He is hidden in the canvas bag on my shoulder.  I can't stop gazing down at him sleeping on my lap.  A little furry miracle.  Mike meets me at the subway station to go and get him some supplies, and instantly falls in love.  I am living in New York, I am in love doubly, first with my love, and now with this little dog named Zeppelin.

10) I am 28, on the verge of a nervous breakdown at my job, when I ace my second interview for a new job.  I get called immediately after.  I have a new job, and my confidence is renewed.  I am valuable.

Well, there you have it.  Memories so vivid that when I think about them it is almost as if I am there.  Of course, there have been many more, but when my mind wanders these come to mind most often for some reason.  Life is weird, now the job that felt like such an escape is a burden, but something else will come along and lighten the load, that I am sure of.  It is a constant ebb and flow.  I can just hope that the good continues to outweigh the bad, and that I can continue to have times that are branded on my brain.  That I can look back when I am much older and see a life well lived.

Niceties

Just some things to brighten an otherwise dreary Tuesday.

Gorgeous home.  I love the mis-matched chairs to go along with the wood and tile floor.

Simple sweater, tee, and jean combos.  This could be my uniform if I let it happen.

 More denim!  Love love.

Simple must try recipe for cold days.

1/2&3/4&5/6

Inspiration on Monday

via 1/2/3

Mondays are tough.  I just end up wishing the weekend was one day longer.  Yes, that would be ideal, 4 days on 3 days off.  It helps to force myself to get back into the grind, and wander around the interwebs hoping to find something to propel me through.  A quick Dali quote and a couple of images of the great Kate Moss seemed to do the trick.  Here's to next weekend.

City Bakery

I have been craving this since last weekend. I just may have to go back for more. Why not?
Happy weekend!